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2) Exemplarité et transmissions des repères

L'harmonie familiale selon la pensée islamique se traduit aussi par une cohérence absolue de la foi à la pratique, des paroles aux actes. Les parents sont, selon un hadith prophétique,les délégués du Prophète صلي الله عليه و سلم auprès de leurs enfants, leur rôle est donc d'être d'abord assidus à leurs pratique religieuse, qui dépasse le cercle spirituel, puisque cette pratique se retrouve également dans la vie temporelle. D'autre part,leurs actes doivent être conformes à leurs paroles, dans le sens où une parole qui ne se prolonge pas en fait réel, n'est pas convaincante, quant bien même elle serait vertueuse, et une parole contredite dans les faits est nullement exemplaire.

C'est de cette manière que l'exemplarité des parents trouve une résonance logique auprès des enfants, qui vont de toute façonintérioriser ces valeurs, et en faire des repères fiables pour évoluer et construire leur identité, et pour faire face à la vie extérieure ou sociale. Les parents modèlent donc le comportement de leurs enfants en même temps qu'ils sont un modèle pour eux.

Il y a donc intégration par l'enfant des valeurs et des pratiques prônées et appliquées par les parents, celui-ci va d'abord naturellement calquer son comportement sur celui de ses parents, c'est la phase de l'imitation. Et c'est précisément à ce stade de développement de l'enfant, que les textes recommandent aux parents d'apporter une attention particulière, car c'est en bas âge que l'enfant a une aptitude particulière à recevoir les bases de la religion, c'est aussi la phase du modelage de l'âme.

Cependant la construction de l'identité de l'enfant ne va pas se fonder uniquement sur une observation passive du comportement de ses proches, car lui aussi va agir, afin de s'éprouver à travers l'autorité parentale. Amdouni affirme quel'enfant "a de façon innée, le sentiment qu'il y a une différence entre le bien et le mal et, parfois, il tente des expériences, essayant par tel ou tel comportement de voir où se situe la limite entre les deux". C'est pourquoi la présence parentale est primordiale, afin de le guider et de le rassurer." Si, à ce moment-là, les adultes ne lui sont d'aucun secours et ne lui font pas respecter la frontière entre le comportement permis et celui qui ne l'est pas, l'enfant va devenir angoissé, ne sachant pas où se situent les limites qu'ils présent pourtant"

Ainsi, la foi se vit chez l'enfant d'abord par imitation avant de devenir un choix personnel, mais ce choix personnel doit être orienté de façon habile et intelligible par les parents ; ces derniers vont contribuer à nourrir le jugement de leur enfant par leur attention, leur affection, leur science (d'où l'importance accordée à toutes les formes de savoirs utiles dans la conception islamique) ce qui va nécessairement amener l'enfant sur la voie du respect de lui-même, de ses proches, des prophètes, qui constituent pour lui autant d'exemples, et bien sûr du respect de Dieu .



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Harmonie familiale :
source de l’équilibre psychologique de l’enfant



1) Un principe élémentaire : l’entente du couple

En nous penchant sur les textes saints de la religion musulmane,on remarque l'abondance des hadiths et des versets coraniques régissant les relations dans le couple et incitant donc, à la bonne entente, et à l'harmonie familiale. C'est en effet, de cette harmonie familiale que dépendra l'équilibre psychologique de l'enfant. Ainsisi une incompatibilité profonde se manifestait entre le père et la mère de l'enfant, ce dernier s'en trouverait atteint, et pour cause, il est le témoin direct visuel et affectif des bonnes ou des mauvaises relations qu'entretiennent ses parents. En définitive, il est un devoir des parents musulmans de s'accorder mutuellement, et d'introduire l'affection et la sérénité dans le cercle familial, et il est un droit de l'enfant de ressentir cette paix extérieure et de l'intérioriser. Le Coran se prononce ainsi :{ C'est un des signes divins que de vous avoir donné des compagnes tirées de vous-mêmes, pour que vous éprouviez la paix auprès d'elles, et d'avoir établi entre vous affection et tendresse } [Sourate 30 - Verset 21 ]

Sous cette même optique, l'islam permet le divorce(après maintes tentatives de réconciliations établies clairement par le Coran), mais déclare à travers le Prophète صلي الله عليه و سلم: " De toutes les choses qu'Il a permises, il n'y en a pas de plus détestée pour Allah que le divorce "Car ceci représente, bien évidemment, un échec pour le couple, et une atteinte psychologique pour les enfants.



Comment les textes saints ont-ils instauré cette entente ?

Et bien, en définissant les responsabilités de chacun des membres du couple à travers des règles bien précises : et selon la pensée islamique, toutes ces règles sont absolues et immuables, car émanant d'Allahعز و جل.

Elles ne peuvent en conséquence, ni être remises en question, ni être contestées par l'une ou l'autre partie, chacun devra s'y soumettre en toute bonne foi, pour que règne justement cette harmonie familiale. Voici un échantillon de ces règles selon les textes. Le Prophète a mentionné à chacun ses droits en disant :

" Vous avez des droits sur vos femmes et elles ont les leurs sur vous. Quelques-uns de ces droits sont communs, d'autres sont particuliers à chacun d'eux. "

Parmi ces droits communs, on citera la fidélité, la sincérité, l'amour, la confiance réciproque (...) les civilités usuelles, qui comprennent la sérénité du visage, la douce parole, la bienveillance, le respect.

" L'union conjugale ne fait que consolider et affermir la fraternité basée sur la foi. Chacun des deux époux considère l'autre comme une partie de lui-même " souligne Abou Baker Jaber Al Djazaïri.

AMDOUNI ajoute " qu'homme et femme ont donc une même responsabilité en matière de piété ; maisAllahعز و جل les a crées complémentaires : chacun a sur cette terre, des tâches et des responsabilités prioritaires spécifiques, ce qui n'exclut nullement qu'ils s'entraident ! Lorsqu'ils s'entraident, lorsqu'ils forment un vrai couple, chacun représente pour l'autre protection, chaleur et intimité". On peu lire dans le Coran : { Elles représentent pour vous un vêtement, et vous en êtes un pour elle (...) } [ Sourate 2 - Verset 187 ]

Dans leur démarche d'entente selon la Loi d'Allah عز و جل, qui se traduira dansleur comportement, leurs paroles, et leurs gestes, "les membres du couple doivent se recommander les actes jugés licites, et banniront l'interdit, le blâmable" [Cité par AMDOUNI ]

{ Les croyants et les croyantes sont alliés les uns des autres. Ils commandent le convenable, interdisent le blâmable accomplissent la Salât, acquittent la Zakat et obéissent à Allah et à Son messager. Voilà ceux auxquels Allah fera miséricorde, car Allah est Puissant et Sage.} [ Sourate 9, verset 71 ]

Ceci aura nécessairement pour effetd'éveiller l'esprit de l'enfant, qui s'imprégnera inconsciemment de toutes ces valeurs et qui les fera siennes ; valeurs qui seront naturellement renforcées parune éducation explicite et orale des parents ; c'est donc à ce niveau que s'établissent l'exemplarité et la transmissions des repères dans la relation éducative.


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Do You Want Allah (SWT) to Love You? Then develop the following qualities!

Allah loves Muhsineen (Good Doers) [2:195, 3:134, 3:148, 5:13, 5:93]
Allah loves Tawwabeen (Those who turn to rightfulness) [2:222]
Allah loves Mutahhareen (Those who keep their bodies free from filth) [2:222, 9:108]
Allah loves Muttaqeen (Those who guard themselves against evil) [3:76, 9:4, 9:7]
Allah loves Sabireen (Being Patient) [3:146]
Allah loves Mutawakkileen (Those who put their trust in Allah) [3:159]
Allah loves Muqsiteen (Those who act equitably and justly) [5:42, 49:9, 60:8]

It is noteworthy that although one of the things attributed to Allah (SWT) in Islam is the wrath (Ghadab), its application is much more limited compared to His mercifulness and love for His creatures. Indeed, His wrath is only for those who deliberately disbelieve or commit evil actions. Remember Allah (SWT) is also just. Hence evildoers and sinners must have their share of punishment and the virtuous, His bounties and favors.

Wrath or anger is also out of His love and mercy. If His love or mercy did not exist He would not care at all. It is like a father who becomes angry with his son when he does something wrong, because he has care and concern for his son and his entire family, because he wants his son to correct his behaviour and set a lesson for other children not to copy that wrong act.

A rational and intelligent love is the one that involves the good and interest of whole mankind and not a limited number of people. One can do many things to bring good to individuals or groups which bring evil to society or mankind as a whole. For example, if a Judge releases a guilty criminal he might have done something good to that person, but a great harm has been inflicted upon the society and the ideal of justice. One should not let his affections hide the truth. If our beloved child needs injection or operation we should not let our love and passions for him to prevent us from doing so. This is exactly how wrath (Ghadab) of Allah (SWT) acts out of care and concern.

Why should one love Allah (SWT)?
According to Islam, one (1) reason for loving God, as said before lies in the fact that God is the most precious, absolute perfection and eternal beauty, that a man can ever conceive and therefore, man out of his nature that aspires to values, beauty and perfection loves God.
The second (2) reason for loving God, men by nature love whoever does good to them, and they appreciate such favour and benevolence, as Imam Ali (as), said: "Generosity and magnanimity enslave men."
Now, as God is the source of all being, of all generosity and benevolence, man, by virtue of his nature, loves God. Prophet Muhammad (saw), said: "Love Allah (SWT) because He has done good to you and He has bestowed favours upon you."
A believer who has started his spiritual journey towards God first comes to recognize God's blessings upon him in providing him with lots of supports and helps that enabled him to act. Having continued his journey and been equipped with a mystical view of the world, he will realize that every good thing, indeed, comes from God himself. We read in the Noble Qur'an: "Whatever benefit comes to you (O man!), it is from God, and whatever misfortune befalls you, it is from yourself" (Surah An-Nisa, 4:79)
Aside from the fact that one who loves God is loved by Him (5:54), a real love for God prompts one to perform the best of deeds. Reason and nature dictate that if someone really loves God, he would act in a manner that is pleasing to God. In this regard, the Noble Qur'an says:
Say: "If you love Allah, then follow me, and Allah will love you and forgive you your sins," and Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. (Surah Al-E-Imran, 3:31)
This ayah indicates the interrelation between love, as an inner state, and emulating Prophet Muhammad (saw), which is an outward action. Moreover, it implies that no one may neglect his religious obligations under the pretext of love for God. Love for Prophet Muhammad (saw)

Love for Allah (SWT), Love for God is the foundation of Islamic belief



The Noble Qur'an says: "The believers are stronger in their love for Allah." (Surah Al-Baqara, 2:165)

According to Islamic teaching, the minimum expectation from believers is that God should have the first place in their heart, in the sense that no other love may override one's love for God; God should be the highest and foremost object of love. The Noble Qur'an says:

Say: If your fathers and your sons and your brethren and your mates and your kinsfolk and property which you have acquired, and the slackness of trade which you fear and dwellings which you like, are dearer to you than Allah and His Messenger and striving in His way, then wait till Allah brings about His command: and Allah does not guide the transgressing people. (Surah Al-Tawba, 9:24)

This verse clearly indicates that one's love for God has to be superior to one's love for everything else that one may come to love in one's life. This superiority shows itself when the love for God and for His religion comes in conflict with one's love for one's personal belongings. In this case, a believer should be able to sacrifice his personal favourite things for the sake of God. For example, if God asks us to give our lives to protect innocent lives or our territorial integrity or the like, we should not let our love for this world or any other distraction i.e. family, wealth, power, etc. prevent us from striving in His way. And nothing should come into conflict with our love for God. The Noble Qur'an says:

Allah has not made for any man two hearts in his (one) body. (Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:4)

Imam Ali (as) would always spend time with his children. Once he was sitting in his house with his young children. Sayyida Zainab (sa) then asked, "Dear, father, do you love me?" Imam Ali (as) said, "Yes, of course, my children are like a part of my heart". On hearing this, she said, "You also love Allah (SWT). How can two loves be in one heart of a true believer, the love of Allah (SWT) and that of children?"

Imam Ali (as) smiled and replied, "Love Allah (SWT) and for the sake of His love, you love His creatures; children and fellow beings too. I love you for the sake of Allah (SWT)."

Hence love for God is the foundation of Islamic belief, the foundation on which man is to establish the principles of his faith (Iman). Hence with one heart one cannot choose two beloveds.

Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (as) said once, "The heart is the sanctuary of God, therefore do not settle therein anything but God."

Hadith Qudsi says, "Neither [the vastness of] My earth, nor [that of] My heaven can contain Me. Indeed it is the heart of the man of faith which can contain Me."

Urdu Couplet says: Kaba Kitna Khush Kismat Hai, Ke Yeh Allah (SWT) Ka Ghar Hai, Lekin Is Mein Allah Nahi Rehta, Momin Kaba Se Bhi Ziada Khush Kismat Hai, Jis Ke Dil Mein Allah (SWT) Rehta Hai.

The history of Islam is full of memories of those who embodied a sincere and overwhelming love for God and His religion. One of those who full-heatedly devoted himself to Islam was Bilal al-Habashi, a black slave. The pagans of Quraysh in Makkah subjected him to torture asking him to mention names of their idols express his belief in them and disbelieve in Islam. They tormented him under the burning Sun by laying him on scorching sand and putting heavy rocks on his chest. Abu Bakr, a rich companion (Sahabi) of Prophet Muhammad (saw), was passing by when he heard the cry of Bilal. He went close and advised him to hide his belief, but Bilal was not prepared to do so; since "love was ever rebellious becomes deadly."

Another example is Imam Hussayn ibn Ali (sa), who said: "Oh God, I have left the world in Your love. Am ready to make my children orphans in Your love. My heart could not divert towards anybody but You. Even if You cut my body into pieces in Your love."





Love the Sole Purpose of our Creation



There is a famous divine saying (Hadith Qudsi) which can probably be found in all books written about the goal of creation in Islam. According to this Hadith Qudsi, Allah (SWT) says: "I was a hidden treasure; I loved to be known. Hence I created the world so that I would be known."

Allah (SWT) has created the world out of love. Thus, a question arises: why did Allah (SWT) love to be known? Certainly, Allah (SWT) has no desire for fame. The purpose behind His love to be known is understandable by considering the fact that Allah (SWT) who is the Wise, the Compassionate and the Merciful creates the universe and particularly human beings to give them the maximum grace and perfection that they have the capacity for receiving. Of course, the perfection of any kind of being is decided by the degree of its similarity or closeness to Allah (SWT), and the most important factors in this are love of Allah (SWT), and prior to that knowledge of Allah (SWT), since there can be no love without knowing the beloved.

It is narrated in another Hadith Qudsi that when God loves someone, He becomes his ears, his eyes, his tongue, and his hands: "When I love him, then I shall be his ears with which he listens, his eyes with which he sees, his tongue with which he speaks, and his hands with which he holds; if he calls Me, I shall answer him, and if he asks Me, I shall give him."

Similarly the way man has physical needs in life which he strives and struggles to fulfill, the soul too has needs that must be satisfied. These spiritual needs and urges have been placed by the hands of the creator in the depths of the creation's soul. Man has a natural inclination to find love and love in any form towards any object has no valid reality except when it is for the sake of Allah (SWT). All love directly or indirectly in some way, shape, or form is a man's hope to be in reach of the ultimate perfection, which can be nobody but Allah (SWT) - the Almighty.

God's love for the world in general and human beings in particular is unanimously believed and emphasized by all Muslims. Indeed, one of the God's names is al-Wadud, He who loves. Some non Muslims allege that God in Islam is very strict and cruel God who demands to be obeyed fully. He is not loving and kind. Nothing can be farther from truth than this allegation. It is enough to know that, with the exception of one, each of the 114 chapters of the Noble Qur'an begins with the verse: "In the name of God, the Merciful, the Compassionate."

In one of the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) we are told that, "God is more loving and kinder than a mother to her dear child."

Love in Islam (Al-Hubb Al-Islam)

Every heart that is not aflame is no heart;
A frozen heart is nothing but a handful of clay.
O God! Give me a breast that sets ablaze,
And in that breast a heart and that heart consumed with fire.

In Islam, the concept of love is one of the most important concepts. This fact manifests itself in Islamic philosophy, theology, mysticism and ethics; indeed, in some aspects, it plays the crucial role. For example, in defining the Islamic point of view on the relation between God and Universe in general, and between God and Mankind in particular, love has the most significant and profound place. Love is so central in Islam that it is seep as "the firmest handhold of faith" and "faith (Iman) is nothing but love for the sake of God and hate for the sake of God".

Ibn Abbas reported that Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "The strongest faith is to be sincere for the sake of Allah, to hate for the sake of Allah (Tabarra), to love for the sake of Allah (Tawalla), and to discard for the sake of Allah."

There is a tendency among some people to think that there should be no hate at all. These people assume that excellence and nobility of character and "being sociable" consist of having all men one's friends. Certainly Islam recommends Muslims to love people and optimize compassionate and sincere relationship with them, even if they do not believe in Islam or in God. However, it is not feasible for a person who has principles in his life and has devoted his life to realize sacred values to be indifferent to evil and oppressive deeds of wrongdoers and make friendship with everybody. Such a person certainly will have some enemies, whether he likes it or not. There are always good people in the society and bad people. Good and bad are two opposite poles. Attraction towards the good is not possible without repulsion from the bad.

When two human beings attract each other and their hearts wish for them to be friends and companions with one another, we should look for a reason for that. The reason is nothing other than similarity and resemblance. Unless there is a similarity between these two persons, they cannot attract one another and move towards friendship with each other, as saying goes, Birds of same feather flock together.

Maulana Rumi in his Mathnavi mentions fine story that illustrate this fact.

The story relates to a wise man that saw a Raven who had formed affection for a Stork. They perched together and flew together! The wise man could not understand how two birds of two different species that had no similarity either in shape or in colour with each other could be friends. He went close and discovered that both of them had only one leg.

The same idea is emphasized by Imams of the Household (Ahlul Bayt) of Prophet Muhammad (saw). For example, Fudayl ibn Yasar, a disciple, asked Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (as) whether love and hatred derive from faith (Iman). Imam Jafar al-Sadiq (as) replied: "Is faith anything but love and hate?"

It is also narrated that Imam al-Baqir (as), stated that: Religion (Deen) is love and love is religion.

As these statements and traditions indicate, love plays an important and significant role. Hence it deserves our close attention in order that we may discover the real meaning of the concept of love in Islam.

First of all, some questions come to the mind. What is the kind of love that has been emphasized by Islam? Who is the object of this special kind of love? Why should the believers have this kind of love and what purpose does it serve?

In Islam Love can be broadly categorized into: Love for God, love for Prophet Muhammad (saw) and his Household (Ahlul Bayt), and love for the faithful.

According to the teachings of Islam, all mankind is from Adam and Eve; an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab, nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over a black, nor does a black have any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is the brother of another Muslim, and that Muslims constitute one brotherhood and one humanity.

Islam and Discrimination: Wedding of Jowaibir and Zalfa (Equality in Islam, Racism and Islam)

Islam and Discrimination, Equality in Islam, Racism and Islam, Islam and Race, One Human Race

Racism is one of the severe diseases of human society in this age. Everyone remembers how black Africans were transported across the oceans, packed in specially designed ships, thought of and treated like livestock. They were made slaves, forced to change their names and religion and language, were not entitled to hope for true freedom, and were refused the least of human rights. Because among some Western people the attitude to non-Westerners has unfortunately changed little in modern times, the political and social condition of black people often remains, even where they live amid the native Westerners as theoretically equal fellow-citizens, that of despised inferiors.

When Allah's (SWT) Messenger, upon him be peace and blessings, was raised as a Prophet, the same kind of racism, under the name of tribalism, was prevalent in Makkah. The Quraish considered themselves in particular, and Arabs in general, superior to all the other peoples of the world. Allah's (SWT) Messenger came with the Divine Message and proclaimed that no Arab is superior over a non-Arab, and no white is superior over black and superiority is by righteousness and God-fearing alone (Surat Al-Hujurat, 49:13). He also declared that even if an Abyssinian Black Muslim were to rule over Muslims, he should be obeyed.

Allah's (SWT) Messenger eradicated the problem of racial or colour discrimination so successfully that superiority is not by birth or colour or blood, but by God-fearing and righteousness.

The message of Islam is for the entire human race. According to Islam, Allah (SWT) is the God of the entire world and the Prophet Muhammad (saw) is a messenger for the whole of mankind. Islam unites the entire human race under one banner without any kind of discrimination.

Allah (SWT) says in Surat Al-Hujurat, "O Mankind! We have created you from a male and female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another. Verily, the most honorable of you in the sight of Allah is he who has most Taqwa among of you. Verily, Allah is All-Knowing, All-Aware." Noble Qur'an (49:13)

In surah Al-Room Allah (SWT) says, "And one of His signs is the creation of the heavens and the earth and the diversity of your tongues and colors; most surely there are signs in this for the learned." Noble Qur'an (30:22)

With this verse, Islam declares equality among people as one human race, one humanity, that is because Islam respect a human for being a human not for any other reason; Islam does not distinguish between two races, or two groups of people, or between two colors, and the Prophet Muhammad (saw) addressed the people signifying that concept during the last Hajj pilgrimage, saying: "O People! Your God is one; your father is one; no preference of an Arab neither over non-Arab nor of a non-Arab over an Arab or red over black or black over red except for the most righteous. Verily the most honored of you is the most righteous."

Not only did Islam emphasize the equality principle theoretically, but did it practically in some of the worship acts that translated this principle into a sensible fact that does not escape people minds, thus: in the mosques where Friday prayer is held once every week, as well as the five daily prayers; equality is exercised practically and all the differences vanishes among people. That is, whoever came to the Mosque first, took his place in the front rows despite his financial states or position, and whoever come late, his place is late and if you look at any row among the prayer's rows, you would find in that row the rich and poor, the knowledgeable and the one with no knowledge, the Arab and the non Arab, no differences all the same in sight of Allah (SWT), their direction during prayer, as well as their reveled book, as their Lord is one and also their movements during the prayer following one Imam.

Also in the holy land where the annual Hajj pilgrimage and the Umrah is performed, the equality is even clearer and stronger that is because during prayer people may differ in their clothes but during Hajj pilgrimage and Umrah the Ihram situation oblige every one to only wear simple white clothes which equates the rich and the poor, the governor and governed, all walking around the Holy Kaaba asking one lord.

Also, another practical application of equality in Islam, is the equality among people in front of the law and regulations. What is allowed is for all people and what is forbidden as well upon all people. The obligations are upon everyone, and whoever deserved punishment gets it, regardless.

An example of such was when some of the companions (Sahaba) talked to Osama Bin Zaid, the favorite of the Prophet Muhammad (saw), to intervene for the sake of the well reputed woman from Quraish tribe who deserved punishment for stealing (that is cutting her hand), Osama Bin Zaid talked to the Prophet Muhammad (saw), the Prophet Muhammad (saw) got angry and said, "Those before you were districted, that is because the renowned is untouched when he steals, and the poor is punished, verily if Fatimah daughter of Muhammad stole, I would have cut her hand."

This is Islam: emphasizing the equality and applying it in the society since 1400 years ago, when during that time mankind used to suffer the worst distinction among people and individuals in society and readied the enslaving of the human to his brother the human. The eradication of racism consciousness is one of the outstanding moral achievements of Islam.This is the secrete that made Islam and Muslims prevail nations in the past. It is a mistake to think that Islam prevailed only because Muslims like dying in the battles as other like to live. Islam did not prevail through battles only, but because Islam is a complete unique guidance for life, unique in it's rituals, beliefs, dealings and morals and from all with all that the religion of Allah is comprised, and with all that Muslims won and prevailed in the past, and with it Muslims can prevail and rule these days or any other time.